[chore] Upgrade ncruces/go-sqlite3 to v0.18.1 (#3253)

Contains a fix for locking behaviour on the BSDs.

vendor/github.com/ncruces/go-sqlite3/README.md

@@ -12,6 +12,20 @@ It wraps a [Wasm](https://webassembly.org/) [build](embed/) of SQLite,
 and uses [wazero](https://wazero.io/) as the runtime.\
 Go, wazero and [`x/sys`](https://pkg.go.dev/golang.org/x/sys) are the _only_ runtime dependencies [^1].
 
+### Getting started
+
+Using the [`database/sql`](https://pkg.go.dev/database/sql) driver:
+```go
+
+import "database/sql"
+import _ "github.com/ncruces/go-sqlite3/driver"
+import _ "github.com/ncruces/go-sqlite3/embed"
+
+var version string
+db, _ := sql.Open("sqlite3", "file:demo.db")
+db.QueryRow(`SELECT sqlite_version()`).Scan(&version)
+```
+
 ### Packages
 
 - [`github.com/ncruces/go-sqlite3`](https://pkg.go.dev/github.com/ncruces/go-sqlite3)

vendor/github.com/ncruces/go-sqlite3/vfs/shm_bsd.go

@@ -121,8 +121,8 @@ func (s *vfsShm) shmOpen() (rc _ErrorCode) {
 	// Find a shared file, increase the reference count.
 	for _, g := range vfsShmFiles {
 		if g != nil && os.SameFile(fi, g.info) {
-			g.refs++
 			s.vfsShmFile = g
+			g.refs++
 			return _OK
 		}
 	}
@@ -207,15 +207,22 @@ func (s *vfsShm) shmLock(offset, n int32, flags _ShmFlag) _ErrorCode {
 	case flags&_SHM_UNLOCK != 0:
 		for i := offset; i < offset+n; i++ {
 			if s.lock[i] {
+				if s.vfsShmFile.lock[i] == 0 {
+					panic(util.AssertErr())
+				}
 				if s.vfsShmFile.lock[i] <= 0 {
 					s.vfsShmFile.lock[i] = 0
 				} else {
 					s.vfsShmFile.lock[i]--
 				}
+				s.lock[i] = false
 			}
 		}
 	case flags&_SHM_SHARED != 0:
 		for i := offset; i < offset+n; i++ {
+			if s.lock[i] {
+				panic(util.AssertErr())
+			}
 			if s.vfsShmFile.lock[i] < 0 {
 				return _BUSY
 			}
@@ -226,6 +233,9 @@ func (s *vfsShm) shmLock(offset, n int32, flags _ShmFlag) _ErrorCode {
 		}
 	case flags&_SHM_EXCLUSIVE != 0:
 		for i := offset; i < offset+n; i++ {
+			if s.lock[i] {
+				panic(util.AssertErr())
+			}
 			if s.vfsShmFile.lock[i] != 0 {
 				return _BUSY
 			}